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People who cannot treat themselves with compassion are likely to have problems communicating nonviolently with others.
Non-violent communication is not only about the way we communicate with people, but also about the way we treat ourselves. Some people tend to be harsher with themselves than with others. They feel shame or guilt when they commit a behavior that they themselves consider a mistake.
The communication process is like two sides of a medallion. The way we express ourselves is one side of the communication process, while the way we perceive people is the other. So, how do we understand what the other person feels or requests?
Mediation is a process in which a neutral third party (the mediator) attempts to resolve conflicts between two or more parties. The mediator helps the parties agree on a solution without one of the parties having to go to court. The Mediator listens to both sides, asks questions, encourages dialogue, and tries to reach an understanding of the parties’ respective views and needs in order to reach an agreement.
In previous blog post, we analysed the 4 steps of the nonviolent communication process and mentioned the importance of expressing emotions clearly. Well, how do people express their emotions?We tend to express our emotions at many points in our daily lives. Usually, these moments are situations where we feel emotions such as sadness, resentment, fear, and anger. There are more than one way to express emotions. Many people are used to express their emotions on the basis of blame, not on the basis of need.
What causes conflicts to occur? Why do some people remain calm and stay in safe waters even in the most troubling situations, while others escalate to violence?
Every conflict involves a variety of emotions. In many cases, emotions cause conflicts to arise, and focusing on these emotions helps to overcome conflicts.
Mediation is a process by which a neutral third person facilitates communication between parties to a dispute and assists them in reaching a mutually agreed resolution. . In Uganda, this is not a new form of resolving disputes. Since time immemorial, it was the only known form of dispute resolution at home, with elders serving as mediators, in the communities, with traditional leaders serving as mediators.
Eastern wisdom for a successful mediation
I am fascinated by a new book by Dr. Thomas Gartenmann, The Emperor’s Cupboard: More clarity and impact for business leaders through Western psychology and Eastern wisdom (translated from the German edition, https://amzn.eu/d/97RjItl). The author dedicates the book to “the inner child in all of us” and this made me pay attention to a central theme running through his work.
That being the case, it is impossible to draw any hard-and-fast boundary-line between the two disciplines. They are siblings – much more so, in fact, than mediation and arbitration. Indeed, the gap between mediation and arbitration is immense: though both are ‘voluntary’ and therefore categorised as ‘alternative dispute-resolution’ (ADR), the criterion of voluntariness applies to face-to-face negotiation as well, bilateral or multilateral.
International Mediation Campus is partnering with the Bucerius Law School in Hamburg, Germany to offer scholarships on our mediation training packages to candidates who are interested in further developing their skills in mediation. For your chance to receive an IM Campus scholarship, please take part in the raffle below.
I spent close to 10 years negotiating at the United Nations (UN), and I believe that multilateral outcomes—those truly developed inclusive of all the stakeholders—offer the only workable policy solutions to our ever-expanding challenges
Experiences with our training to become a mediator
Our participants have various professional und cultural backgrounds. After the successful completion of your training, you can be part of our huge IMC Fellows network meeting former participants from different working fields such as UN negotiators, NGO, WHO, judges of supreme courts, psychologists and more. Be ready for a very active and unique network of people based in more than 70 countries.
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