Every person embodies the modes of child, parent and adult. So, what makes people different from each other?

In the previous blog post, we mentioned creation period of child, parent and adult modes underlying our expressions. In the mediation negotiations, it is possible to observe these modes both from the mediator’s and participants’ point of view.

One of the main factors influencing our communication is our parent, child and adult modes. Each constitutes another record of our personality and contains different voices. During a conflict, they of course remain in action to influence our communication.

In our five-post blog series, we examined nonviolent communication from different perspectives and mentioned how it can be used in the mediation process. In this last post of the series, we will talk about nonviolent communication from the mediator’s perspective.

People who cannot treat themselves with compassion are likely to have problems communicating nonviolently with others. Non-violent communication is not only about the way we communicate with people, but also about the way we treat ourselves. Some people tend to be harsher with themselves than with others. They feel shame or guilt when they commit a behavior that they themselves consider a mistake.

The communication process is like two sides of a medallion. The way we express ourselves is one side of the communication process, while the way we perceive people is the other. So, how do we understand what the other person feels or requests?

In previous blog post, we analysed the 4 steps of the nonviolent communication process and mentioned the importance of expressing emotions clearly. Well, how do people express their emotions?We tend to express our emotions at many points in our daily lives. Usually, these moments are situations where we feel emotions such as sadness, resentment, fear, and anger. There are more than one way to express emotions. Many people are used to express their emotions on the basis of blame, not on the basis of need.

What causes conflicts to occur? Why do some people remain calm and stay in safe waters even in the most troubling situations, while others escalate to violence? Every conflict involves a variety of emotions. In many cases, emotions cause conflicts to arise, and focusing on these emotions helps to overcome conflicts.